Fabet was dead for a while. I even forgot to back it up myself, but thank god (AKA: Zooley) for backing it up. I felt the world was being deprived of my wang, so here it is, the original fabet in full.

18 Hours of Fap

The Bet

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Last night, about 4am EST., in #slavelabor a bet was set forth:

Masturbate for 18 hours straight without cumming.


The rules (set by Aussie and myself) are: I can use what ever I'd like porn-wise, I can use whichever method I choose(Hands, feet, mouth), I may not have anyone else help me, and bathroom breaks when needed (If it's a shit, I can't stop the fapping).


Why am I doing this? Hard work, no pay, eternal glory. Nothing happens if I win or lose. Purely a test of my endurance and will.


I'll start Thursday, December 6, 2001, whenever the hell I happen to wake up.

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Fap-Prelude: Chicken

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I've found poultry products, such as turkey, and to a lesser extent chicken, seems to increase my libido for some odd reason.


I feel a special kinship with Talk Soup's John Henson. God bless you, skunk-boy!


I'll definitely be eating a shitload of bird-meat before the big day.

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Fap-Prelude: Plan

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My plan is sort of sketchy at the moment, though I know basically what I'm going to do. Although my sleeping schedule has been erratic lately, I'm going to try for a 10pm start. People rarely bug me that time of night.


The only problem I see with that, is trying to stay hard while my mother shouts at me through my locked door. If worse comes to worse, I may have to picture her naked. I'll probably end up picturing her naked anyway, but that early on, it could be dangerous. I might blow my wad even before I get warmed up.


The next problem is the hippy. He'll probably be watching tv all night. I'm counting on me snapping from lack of coffee, so I'll have no problem just walking past him; dick in hand. He's drug-addled anyway, and might not even notice me rear-admiraling a three hundred pound black guy in a bright green afro-wig. He shouldn't be much of a challenge.


Making coffee one-handed will be an adventure!


Around 6-9am the moms wake up. I may have to get offline and pretend to sleep so they won't interrupt. This may also put my wood in peril, because my room is right next to the bathroom. Hearing them piss and cough up morning lung-butter without visuals just ain't sexy. I'm going to have to rely solely on my porn collection to keep me going.


During the day, my sister has people coming in and out of the house. If I keep my door locked, the chance of one of them bothering me is slim to nil. I will picture them naked as well.


I'll be in #slavelabor the whole time, making random comments and trying to avoid a real conversation at all costs. I can type fast with one hand, but people's stupidity might drive my boner into the ground. I'll have to use /ignore with reckless abandon!


I plan to finish up around 4pm. By then, I'll probably have gone insane and jelly donut myself. I can't wait!

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Fap-Prelude: Training

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I just pulled one off left-handed for the first time in my life. Go me!

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Fap-Prelude: Shit shit shit shit shit

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A really hot blonde just moved in with us last night...

That "no help" rule is gonna kill me.

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Fap-Prelude: Stock up

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If I think of the blonde broad as "just the damn hippy with boobies" it makes everything a lot easier. As long as I try not to make eye contact while walking past her, and pulling my meat, I should be fine.


Tonight, I pull the shit together. Stock up on food, water, lotion and porn. I'll also read up on different spank-techniques, and check out the Fists of Fury message board for inspiration.



Porn hunt starts soon! Feel free to donate some for the cause.

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Fap-Prelude: pr0n! wh00t!

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Porn. The most important part of my plans. I'll need porn more than I need water or lotion. I'll probably be surfing porn the whole time on Google and Google image search(parental filter turned off, of course.) If it turns out to be a bad google day, I have a short list of bookmarks at my disposal.(Five down three to the right was what put me over the top with the left-hander)



Special thanks to cats for her porn collection and thanks in advance to Sunder who said he'd refill his /junk index for thursday.



Now time to practice!

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18 Hours of Fap:

Ready, set, WANK!

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10:20pm
hell. for some ungodly reason mom#2 picked today to buy an imac. she's trying to get the net set up, so i won't be able to get online for a while. i didn't get started till 10:05 because she asked me for help.


i'm locked in my room now. i have some porn slowly cycling through. the spade directory seemed like a good start. that bitch can suck some mean dick! jeah! i'm also working on skinning everything with porn.

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10:27pm
my balls are cold.

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11:09pm
my mom knocked on my door and told me to come look how cute the cat is. i shouted through the door that i hate that damn cat and don't give a rat's ass.


i think i made her cry.

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11:10pm
thinking about my mom crying made me kinda hot.

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11:34pm
my balls are still cold and i hate everyone.


time for beer!

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11:37pm
fuck! it's not twist off!


hmmmm... this should be interesting...

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11:40pm
YES! I AM GOD!!!!!!!!


i managed to pry the cap off with a knife while holding the bottle with my feet. i hurt myself, but it worked well.

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12:12am
the moms are still up.


spiteful bitches.

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01:04am
3 hours. not too shabby. i need to do some laundry and lube up.


the cat's gonna watch me the whole time.... i just know it...

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01:16am
score! the blonde chick left some panties next to the washing machine!


at least i think they're the blonde chick's... might be my sister's....


...

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01:51am
little billy is starting to feel the effects of all the rubbing.


gots me some suave skin therapy lotion. the aloe vera in it should help with friction burns. almost went with lubriderm daily UV protection, but my cock ain't seeing the light of day anytime soon.


...


fuck! got some in my urethra.

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02:44am
nyeeahahahaha! porn overload! thanks sunder!

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03:00am
my dick's getting sore a lot faster than i'd intended.


on the plus side, the cold lotion has equalized the temperature variance between my cock and balls.

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03:42am
i just ran past the hippy to the bathroom, fapping all the way! motherfucker never saw it coming! hoowahahaha!


a flash of pale skin and a *FAP* and i was gone. mad ninja skillz, nigga!

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04:18am
my dick smells all flowery and gay from the lotion.


fuck you, suave! not greasy my ass! i should switch to some kinda food product for lube. maybe chocolate sauce... or mayonnaise.

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04:30am
i've moved from porn to pictures of people i actually know. you know who you are.


my balls are still icy, but i noticed the only time they were warm was when i ran past the hippy. i'm thinking of sprinting back and forth from my room to the kitchen.

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04:59am
this one handed typing is starting to piss me off. i'd switch to my mouth if my cock didn't taste like fucking lotion. speaking of which, i'm hungry... i'mma mosey on past the hippy and grab some grub. screw running this time. i'm way too lazy.


wonder what he'd do if i pointed my dick at him, and did that clicking/winking thing...

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05:09am
damn. he went to bed. i was looking forward to that, too...


he must have sensed impending cock.

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05:19am
my pubes are all tangled and painy. hate!

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05:36am
the lubriderm is better than the suave! wish i knew that four hours ago... thanks, suave... ass.

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05:45am
shit! i almost came! fortunately i had a backup plan.

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06:06am
bwahahaha! eight hours. double my last record.


everything is greasy from the lotion and my urethra is 3/4" wide. i bet i could jam a skittle in there to keep from cumming.

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06:32am
i hear people moving around. i swear to god, if they acknowledge my existence in any way, i'll blow my wad right into their eyes.


ò_ó diiiiiiieee... just diiiiiiie! slip in the shower, dammit! argh! i can feel them thinking about me.

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06:58am
this would be much better if i had a snatch waiting for me at the finish line. i think i'll shoot my load into a light socket... or the package of boca burgers. gonne get the hippy with boobies to eat my cum one way or another!


... just hope the non-boobies hippy doesn't eat one. i'm pretty sure a guy eating your jizz makes you gay.

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07:18am
fuck! mom#2 downloading shit for her mac... gotta get offline soon. i should cum IN her ass! sticking my dick anywhere besides my hand sounds really appealing now.

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07:32am
warm balls. belly full of coffee. dick in my hand. song in my heart.


...


i read that sentence back and saw "dick in my coffee".

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07:58am
yeah, bitch! you like that!? you want some more? huh!? hell yeah! i'll give you more you dirty whore! 8 hours more!


goddamn, i'm sexy...

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08:44am
i'm getting really close to cumming. i've started punching myself in the balls with each pump down, but that's just making me nauseous.


the cold lotion helps a bit... wish i were online so i could look at this. just thinking of that one made me feel a little less horny. cool.

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09:32am
6 1/2 more hours... gwuh... after i cum, i'm gonna lop my fucking balls off and throw them to the dog. feels like soemone jammed a lit match in my pee-hole.


i hope i can get back online soon. without the distraction, i can hear myself breathing. being alive is a lot more annoying than i remember.


i just heard mom#2 go into the bathroom. i hope her turd splashes her anus with cold toilet water.


need more coffee.

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10:03am
i've come to the realization that my balls are psychic.


everytime i've been close to being seen by someone they got warm... when i'm free to fap undisturbed, they stay cold.


when i ran past the hippy, they got warm. when mom#2 tried to come in without knocking (the door was locked because i live with assholes) they got hot. now they're sweating and i just heard my sister cough in the next room.


i hope to hone my devining balls' abilities to someday aid in search and rescue missions.


or i'll just continue to use them as an early warning system to keep from getting caught floggin' the toboggan.

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10:48am
i wonder if i can arabian goggles myself.

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10:54am
...

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11:00am
nope.

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11:11am
fappin' to the beat of "blame canada" in my head. oh yeah!


...


sheeyit! that line about anne murray made me THINK of anne murray and now my boner's dying. ten-thousand CC's of boobies! STAT!

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11:17am
gbxxx porn is just fuckin' cool, is all.

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11:54am
yay! back online!


my dick feels like it was dipped in candle wax.

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12:42pm
back hurting from coffee is a turn off... fortunately, i found a picture of whee with glasses and a "fuck me" face. i'm hangin' in there.

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12:46pm
hooray for bathroom break! i hope my cock doesn't break off and fall in the toilet. i ain't fishin' it out.

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01:04pm
givin' mr.bilbo a pep-talk.


only three more hours, you whiney bitch! if i have to stay up, so do you!


i just heard someone walk past my room... maybe penis pep-talks out loud = not smart.

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01:27pm
damn you, five!

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01:48pm
my whole body aches. i continue on pure self-spite from here on out.


maybe this'll motivate me to leave the house and meet a non-text-based chick.


...


BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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01:54pm
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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02:01pm
my ass is sweaty and i'm giggling for no reason.


starting to see shit... if i cum spiders, i'm gonna be pissed...

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02:40pm
damn sister signed me off the net... i should run up there, shout, "ROOOOOARGH!" and cum on her tits.


i keep telling myself, just a little longer and i'll see god... and god will be there, pullin' it to all the unfindable porn. spider porn, lesbian clown porn, final fantasy beastiality porn, god porn... and god'll be a cool guy with a neat hat and he'll give me the urls, so I too can witness such wonders.


then god will buy me a beer and tell me the secret of life...


"cum. tits. flop, flop."


swell guy, that god.

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03:28pm
all my porn got minimized somehow and i hyperventilated. and soon as i remembered something or other about something, boobies happened quickly.


i wanna cum on your belly.

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03:50pm
last forty-five minutes and my mystical nuts are cold. easy sailin' from here!


i should quit now to spite evryone who thought i could do it.

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04:05pm
ungh gah! aroogh! MOONCHILD! |-O

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